


a noose of red threads around your neck

by Tsukuyomi_chan



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, revolver's self destructive tendencies, slow burn but in like the worst way, spoilers up to ep 84, very slow understanding of feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukuyomi_chan/pseuds/Tsukuyomi_chan
Summary: This Ryouken doesn’t know anything about Playmaker, didn’t realize that they had been enemies up until very recently.  This Ryouken didn’t view Yuusaku as the enemy.Revolver gets infected by a virus.  Yuusaku has to take care of him.  It’s complicated for everyone.





	1. shards of dreams you crushed underfoot

**Author's Note:**

> Yo I don't know what the shit this is I got this idea around December and just kinda rolled with it for no good reason. This is based off of a K Project doujin I read once. The mainframe of this story takes place in episode 84, during the time period while the protag side prepares the Tower for the scan to find Lightning. This'll have 9 chapters, but also maybe side chapters? 
> 
> I just want a Yuusaku who isn't dealing with the aftermath of the Tower as well as he seems to be in canon. Somehow that turned into this .
> 
> Tags'll get updated as chapters go up.

_He’s sinking.  He’s sinking deeper and deeper.  He needs to fulfill his father’s wishes.  He needs to see through his father’s mission.  He couldn’t let his father’s sacrifice be in vain.  He needs to fulfill his father’s mission and save humanity.  He couldn’t fail his father again._

_He can’t breathe.  Water is filling his lungs.  He needs to kill the Ignis.  He can’t drown here.  He needs to… He needs to…_

 

* * *

 

"What is this."  Yuusaku demands.

Spectre had called him out to meet him, in person, in the real world.  Normally, by all means, Yuusaku would have gladly ignored any request from Spectre.  He had actually gone to delete the message the second he got it in Link Vrains and identified the sender, but reading the first sentence had made his hand pause right over the delete button.

It said there was an emergency with Revolver.  That alone had been enough to get Yuusaku to reluctantly reply with an alright to the meeting.  He left Ai with Kusanagi back at the truck, parked by the ocean side, but he brought his duel disk just in case.  He had been prepared to meet up with Spectre in the real world at Revolver’s seaside mansion, to talk about whatever happened to Revolver while the Knights of Hanoi were out facing the Ignis situation.

He didn’t expect this.

Spectre stands as usual, uptight and formal, but Yuusaku barely registers that compared to Revolver standing next to him.  Revolver is a few centimetres shorter, practically Yuusaku’s height, and lankier than before.  The same clothes that had fit him so well and made his defined muscles clear were now baggy and hanging awkwardly off his frame.  He looks like he’s Yuusaku’s age, maybe even a bit younger. 

“Spectre, who is this.”  Revolver demands, his fingers reaching out to curl around his duel disk. 

“He’ll be looking after you for a while, Ryouken-sama.”  Spectre says, happily ignoring the disbelief on both their faces.

“I don’t have time for me to go be taken care of by someone else.”  Revolver snaps.  “We have to hurry and search for the Ignis to get the key to the Cyberse World.”

He’s talking about Ai sealing away the Cyberse World five years ago, Yuusaku realizes.  “He doesn’t remember?”

“His mind has regressed along with his body.  This has been happening for a few days now, and it’s shown no signs of stopping.  It’s getting annoying to explain everything that’s happened these past few years.”  Spectre sighs.

A few days.  “You mean… this… reverse aging… is continuous?”

“He’s been getting younger day by day.  Just yesterday he was my age, and now he thinks he’s fifteen.  At this rate, we only have two weeks before…”

Before he would disappear.  If this reverse aging really wasn’t going to stop, it would be a little over two weeks before Ryouken reverts to a baby, or even further than that.  Past that, Revolver might even stop existing.  In a little over two weeks, Ryouken might disappear.

Revolver glares at him.  His face is slightly rounder, younger.  His eyes seem less bright than the last time they met, filled with confusion as they focus on Yuusaku.  Confusion and distrust.  It’s new.  Yuusaku doesn’t like it.

In a little over two weeks, Ryouken might disappear.  Completely.

“So what do you want me to do about it?”  Yuusaku says, unable to hide the urgency in his voice.

"Like I said.  We need you to take care of him."

 “Huh?”

"I'm not particularly good with children.  Neither are the others."  Spectre says, and Yuusaku glares at him.  That was an understatement.

“I’m not a child, Spectre.”  Revolver says, sounding equally unhappy with the arrangement.  “I don’t need someone looking after me.”

“With all due respect, Ryouken-sama.  We don’t know enough about your condition currently to leave you alone.  All of us are currently looking for ways to reverse this, and we don't have the time to be babysitting while working.  That’s where you come in.”  Spectre eyes Yuusaku with some disdain, which Yuusaku wholeheartedly returns.

 Revolver huffs, crosses his arms and turns away.

"How did this even happen?"  Yuusaku asks.

"Ryouken-sama had been investigating a suspicious disturbance in Link Vrains, and when he returned, he collapsed.  The next morning, he was seventeen.  We suspect it's one of Lightning's viruses.  Although we're not sure exactly how it managed to affect his physical body this much."

A virus that managed to change the human body and actually reverse the aging process of a human.  It sounds impossible.  But then, the Another incident had been caused by viruses in people's minds, and that had been created by a human.  Although it was hard to imagine being able to create a virus that could literally reverse aging in a human, none of them were truly sure of the extent of the capabilities of the Ignis, and the proof was staring up at him in confusion and apprehension.

“What are you talking about, Spectre?”  Revolver says, his usual demanding face glaring at them both.  But on the younger Revolver, it feels less like the threatening leader of the Knights of Hanoi and more like a teenager throwing a tantrum.  If Yuusaku wasn’t so shocked by this entire situation, he might have even found it endearing.

“So our side is currently pausing progress on creating our part of the scanning program, until we successfully purge the virus.  Your side can continue to work on it, but we’ll just be slower in getting our part done.”  Spectre shrugs.  “It’s better that we get all of our fighting forces in top shape before heading off into battle.”

"You sure do have a lot of guts, leaving your defenseless leader in your enemy's care."  Yuusaku says, and Spectre tilts his head up with a small smirk that makes Yuusaku want to punch his face in.

"As Ryouken-sama said.  'The enemy of my enemy is my friend', for now at least.  We are on the same side in this current fight, after all.  Besides, you might be the safest place for him to be right now in that state.  Don’t tell me you’re going to refuse?"

Yuusaku looks at Ryouken, still glaring at him like a kid throwing a tantrum.  It’s a strange and new expression on him, and Yuusaku wants to see more.  Besides, if Ryouken needed help, he’d try his best to help.  No matter what the current strange relationship between them was. 

“I’ll do it.”  Yuusaku says, and he hates the knowing glint in Spectre’s eyes as Spectre turns away to leave.

“Then I’ll leave him in your care.  You two should stay here for the next week or so, until this problem is fixed.  I’ll keep you updated on if we discover anything about the virus.”

Spectre leaves, but Yuusaku’s fist doesn’t unclench until he watched the Hanoi’s boat sail away from the mansion.

 -藤木遊作-

“Damn Spectre, talking about me as if I’m some sort of problem.”  Revolver huffs.  He sits on a couch in the mansion’s living room with his legs crossed, tapping one finger on his arm impatiently.  Yuusaku settles on the other side of the couch quietly. 

He has a lot of questions.  None of which the current Revolver can answer, since he’s forgotten all of them.  Oh, right now it might be better not to call him Revolver in real life.  And he’d rather not think about what Kougami implied.

“Ryou… ken…” Yuusaku says slowly, the name sounding awkward coming from his voice, but strangely comforting.

Ryouken’s steely eyes refocus on him.  “So, who are you?  How does Spectre know you?”

This Ryouken doesn’t remember him, Yuusaku realizes.  This Ryouken doesn’t know anything about Playmaker.  This Ryouken didn’t try to destroy the entire network along with the both of them at the Tower of Hanoi.

This Ryouken didn’t know Yuusaku was that kid from ten years ago.

This Ryouken didn’t know about his father’s passing.

“I’m…” Yuusaku starts, the words getting caught in his throat.  He doesn’t know what to do.  He agreed to watch over Ryouken, no matter what state Ryouken was in, but he has no idea how to deal with a fifteen year old Ryouken, the leader of Hanoi fixated on tracking down and killing Ai and the other Ignis.  When he had met Ryouken again, all those months ago, he had been so happy.  But Ryouken had hated it, hated him, for reminding him of the things Ryouken had done ten years ago, and the things Yuusaku had done now.  If Yuusaku told him about their exact relationship, would this Ryouken also hate him?

“I’m… Fujiki Yuusaku.”  He says, his voice trailing off near the end.  “How much do you know about your current situation?”

Ryouken frowns, obviously not satisfied with just his name.  “Just because you’re a little pretty doesn’t mean you get to boss me around.”  Ryouken snaps.  Yuusaku just stares back dumbfounded, not sure how to respond.  “Are you one of the new recruits?  How do I know you’re even trustworthy?”

Yuusaku looks down at his hands clenched together in his lap.  He really was just going to have to say it if he wanted Ryouken to listen to him.  “Three things…”  He forces out, and hears Ryouken’s voice hitch.  “Ten years ago… you told me to think of three things… Your voice saved me… and…”

“You’re him?”  Ryouken darts out of his seat and rushes towards Yuusaku, only stopping when their faces were a few centimeters apart.  Yuusaku freezes.  “It _is_ you.  You… you’re here.”  He whispers, looking into Yuusaku’s eyes, and Yuusaku can’t bring himself to move.  “So you were alright.”  The overwhelming relief in Ryouken’s voice completely knocks the wind out of Yuusaku, and his shoulders begin to shake. 

“Yuusaku…”  Ryouken whispers, as if trying out the feeling of his name.  “Yuusaku. Yuusaku…”  Something hot bubbles in the pit of Yuusaku’s stomach at the sound, and he can’t look away as Ryouken’s face seems to loom closer and closer to his, Ryouken’s blue eyes reflecting an emotion so raw it scared him.

This Ryouken doesn’t know anything about Playmaker, didn’t realize that they had been enemies up until very recently. 

This Ryouken didn’t view Yuusaku as the enemy. 

The look on Ryouken’s face is so gentle, so full of relief that it physically hurts, and Yuusaku has to look away before he starts to feel his eyes water.  He pushes gently at Ryouken’s shoulder with one hand, and Ryouken realizes the position that they’re in quickly, backing away only to sit next to Yuusaku on the sofa, their legs just grazing each other.  He’s still looking at Yuusaku, but Yuusaku can’t bear to return his gaze, to see the expression that Ryouken is making right now.  He can’t even make sense of this situation anymore.

“S-So, that’s why Spectre said I should look after you, until you get better.”  Yuusaku says.

“Oh.”  And awkward silence fills the air. 

This Ryouken was currently infected with one of Lightning’s viruses, and needed to be cured as soon as possible before any danger came to him.  Anything bonds formed now would be merely temporary.  He doesn’t even know if Ryouken would remember any of this once the virus was purged.  If the virus could be purged.

Don’t think about that.

“I don’t remember a lot.”  Ryouken finally says, and Yuusaku realizes it’s in response to Yuusaku’s earlier question.  “I’m fifteen, but according to Spectre and the others I’m eighteen currently.  Spectre said something about a virus in me that’s made me look and think I’m fifteen.  The last thing I remember is hurrying our efforts to find the Ignis to locate the Cyberse World as soon as possible.  But… the current me is supposed to be eighteen… So there’s three whole years I don’t know about…”  He lets out a frustrated groan.  “They’re all wasting time with telling me to lay back and rest.  I feel fine.”

So Ryouken had no idea about the current events happening. 

“Oh, by the way, the Cyberse World is—”

“I know.  About the Cyberse World and the Ignis.”

“Really.  Are you also a Knight of Hanoi?”

The idea sends an involuntary twitch through him.  Yuusaku shakes his head no, and Ryouken seems oddly pleased about that.  “That’s fine.  You don’t need to worry about it.  We’ll take care of them soon enough, and humanity will be saved.  I’ll protect you!” 

Like an actual knight.  It might have made Yuusaku a little happy, if he wasn’t aware of how much harm the Knights of Hanoi had actually done on Link Vrains.

It reminds Yuusaku of the events of a few months ago.  Finding Ai, fighting Revolver, stopping the Tower of Hanoi.  Things that the current Ryouken had no idea about.  He needs to get away, before the thoughts bouncing around in his head burst.

Yuusaku stands suddenly, walking away from Ryouken to the back of the room.  “I’ll be staying here for a while, so I’m going to go back and grab some of my stuff from my place.  I’ll buy some takeout on the way for dinner.”

“I’ll come too.  I can help with carrying your stuff.”  Ryouken says, bounding over the back of the sofa to catch up with him.

The thought of Ryouken having to witness his dingy little apartment makes Yuusaku cringe.  “No, it’s fine, you should just stay here and rest—”

“I insist.  You’re the guest in my house, after all.”  Ryouken says, crossing his arms and looking at him with those eyes Revolver uses to command his forces, strong-willed and unbending.  “Come on, let’s go.”  He walks past Yuusaku to the mansion’s main entrance, and Yuusaku has no choice but to follow.

 -藤木遊作-

Yuusaku had never liked to think much about the future, other than fulfilling his revenge.  He had dedicated himself fully to the pursuit of his revenge, and now that he had actually done it, he’s been forcefully dragged back into normality.  None of the therapists had said that focusing on revenge was healthy, and his last one had said that it would leave him hollow.  He hadn’t cared at the time.  He was fine being hollow, if it meant he could do the three things he set out to do.  So what laid past revenge in his future was something not worth thinking about.

Really, maybe he should have thought more about it.

He’s currently sitting next to Ryouken on the skytrain, heading back into the city to pick up to his stuff and buy some takeout for dinner.  It seems so normal, it feels like Yuusaku is in a simulation of normal life rather than actually being here, living it in person. 

The concept of normal was something Yuusaku had never allowed himself to consider.  And yet now it’s staring at him in the face, just by being in this situation.  If he had met Ryouken earlier, before the Knights of Hanoi’s plans began, before he became Playmaker, could they have been normal? 

Would Ryouken have looked as happy as he did once they met again in the other world?

Yuusaku calls Kusanagi on the way.  Ryouken seems preoccupied with looking out the skytrain windows at the scenery, so Yuusaku just speaks softly into his phone and tries to explain the situation as best he can to Kusanagi, asking him to look after Ai for the next week or so, until this whole incident was over.  It was for the best that Ryouken didn’t meet Ai, no matter how much fun Ai would get out of this.

“It’s really like I’m in the future.”  Ryouken says, settling back into his seat next to Yuusaku.  “So many new stores opened up, new buildings built.”

He says it calmly, but there’s a furrow in his brow that doesn’t escape Yuusaku’s eyes.  It must be weird, to have the world you thought you knew suddenly change overnight.  “But… it’s not as they’re all bad changes.”  Yuusaku says quietly.  The speakers come on, announcing the arrival at the next station, and Yuusaku nudges Ryouken’s arm.  “That’s our stop.”

They walk together in relative silence all the way back to Yuusaku’s small apartment complex.  It’s shabby, rundown, and as Yuusaku fishes out the key to his apartment he can tell Ryouken is staring at the cracks on the plaster on the door and feels the inexplicable need to turn around and march away now, to lead Ryouken back to his mansion and insist that it was fine, he could just wear his school uniform for the entire week.

He unlocks the door, but his feet freeze at taking the first step in, and Ryouken pushes past him into his apartment.  “Oh,” Ryouken exclaims, after flicking on the lights and getting a good look at the inside.

It’s small.  The bedroom and living room are combined into one small main room, with a bathroom to the side and a small side room for entire Vrains without disruption.  Empty takeout boxes are lying on the table at the back, and dust floats in the few rays of sunlight still left pouring through his window without blinds or curtains.  The walls are dirty, paint peeling off, and empty.  It’s plain, dull, and empty, but Yuusaku figures it fits that this is where he lives.  Yuusaku walks down the stairs into his apartment and grabs his schoolbag lying on his bed, then begins to stuff some extra shirts and pants from his drawer into it, finally grabbing his laptop lying on his desk. 

_“Welcome home.  Are you heading out already?”_   Roboppi emerges from where she was sleeping at the side of the room to greet him.  Yuusaku nods.

“I won’t be back for a while.  A week, two weeks, maybe more.”

_“Understood.  See you in a week, two weeks, maybe more.”_   Roboppi says, then slides back into her corner.

Yuusaku walks back up the steps to where Ryouken is still staring at his room.  “There really isn’t a lot of stuff to grab, you didn’t have to come.”  He hadn’t want Ryouken to come, to see this.  Strong-willed and regal Ryouken in a broken-down apartment like his.  At least they could stay in Ryouken’s mansion for the following weeks.  “Let’s go.  There’s a cheap Chinese place down a block away.”

Ryouken’s hand clamps down on Yuusaku’s wrist before he can push open the door.  “Do you… really live here?  By… by yourself?”  He says, still looking at the room.  Yuusaku wants to pull away, but Ryouken’s grip is unyielding.

“Yeah,” Yuusaku says, and Ryouken’s grip only tightens. 

“What about your family?  Your parents?”

“I don’t know them.”  Yuusaku says, letting out a small sigh.  “I can’t remember much before the incident.  After the incident, they said my parents had died, so I was sent off to a facility to recover.  But that didn’t help, and eventually I got old enough and moved here.”

“You should stay at my place.”  Ryouken whips around to stare him straight in the eye, a quiet determination burning in his eyes.  “Even after this, after the Knights get rid of this virus in me, you should stay at my place.  There’s plenty of room, and it’s in much better shape than… here.  Why didn’t the future me do this, what is he doing?”

Yuusaku feels his heart clench painfully, at Ryouken focusing on him so intensely, at the mere idea of Ryouken still trying to keep this relationship after the virus is purged.  He looks at where Ryouken grips his wrist, at the heat from the connection.  “I…”

As if sensing his discomfort, Ryouken lets go.  Yuusaku can still feel the warmth tingling from where Ryouken’s fingers had been.  “You don’t need to answer now if you can’t, but… think about it.  Please.”

Ryouken walks out, and Yuusaku follows, flicking off the lights in his apartment.

-藤木遊作-

They buy more Chinese takeout than Yuusaku’s eaten in the last year.  Ryouken insists on paying, and actually shoves Yuusaku out of the way to make sure of it.  By the time they make it back to Ryouken’s mansion, the sun has already set.  It’s a cloudy, dark night, with no stars in sight.  Looking out at the sea now makes Yuusaku actually wish the weather was a bit better, so that Stardust Road would be visible.  It would have probably been good for Ryouken to see something familiar.

They get ready for bed after dinner in relative silence, with Yuusaku rechecking in with Kusanagi while Ryouken was in the shower.  Ai hadn’t taken well to the news, and was apparently grumbling about being left in the truck.  He tells them goodbye just as Ryouken finishes and emerges from the bathroom, changed into plain pyjamas and hair still damp and sticking to his face. 

It really is obvious how much younger Ryouken is like this.  And yet, he’s closer to Yuusaku’s age than before.  His frame is more slender, less muscular, but definitely resembled Revolver.  Still taller than Yuusaku, but not by as much.  Still physically stronger, still much prettier.  Clear, unblemished skin, not marred by any electrocution burns or scars.  Yuusaku watches a drop of water roll down the curve of Ryouken’s neck down past his collarbone, and tears his eyes away once it disappears from sight.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa.”  Yuusaku says, putting away his laptop.

“No you won’t.  You’re the guest.”

“This mansion doesn’t have a guest bedroom.”  Yuusaku knows, from all the times he had revisited this place after Ryouken and his knights left on the boat.  There were the private rooms of each of the three knights, and Spectre's, and all the other rooms were filled with work equipment.  And he refuses to go near any of their rooms.

“Then I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

“We still don’t know enough about your condition.  You need proper rest and to keep healthy for now.  Stay in your bedroom.  I’ll be fine.”  Yuusaku’s hand slides across the surface of the sofa.  It’s one of those fancy leather couches, large enough for him to sleep on it.  Besides, he’s slept on worse.

Maybe Ryouken picks up on it, that little hint of sad acceptance that he tried to hide in his voice.  The incident from ten years ago haunts Ryouken just as much as it haunts Yuusaku, after all.  Ryouken picks up his hand, tugging at it slightly so that Yuusaku will look at him.  “T-Then, we’ll both sleep in my bed.  For tonight.”  Ryouken demands, but there’s a pink flush on his cheeks as he forces out the words.  “There’s plenty of room.”

Ryouken is asking him to stay with him.  He’s here, standing right across from Yuusaku, in reach.  He wanted them to be together. 

Yuusaku had followed that voice for ten years, and if he could follow it for a bit longer, he’d happily do so.  For as long as this could last.

“Alright.”  Yuusaku whispers back.

They settle into Ryouken’s extravagant king-sized bed in his bedroom.  Yuusaku’s slept in this bed before, not that he would ever admit to it.  But he had never even imagined that Ryouken could be here, next to him in it.  In the darkness, with only the faint sound of waves rolling up on the shore in the distance and Ryouken’s breathing, the unmistakable warmth of another human here under the blankets with him.  It’s a dark and cloudy night, but the few beams of moonlight still around seem to reflect off of Ryouken’s eyes, as if they’re glowing and looking right into Yuusaku’s soul.  It’s like they’re in a separate world, a world with just the two of them.

No, Yuusaku has definitely dreamt of this before.  But he had desperately tried to convince himself not to, every single time.

He can’t remember the last time he wasn’t alone at night.

“I… still don’t understand a lot of what’s going on.”  Ryouken admits, his voice quiet.  “I don’t know if this is a virus or time travel or what.  I woke up, and everyone was suddenly so much older, everything around me had changed.  There are still constants, the knights, they’re still there, but they’ve also changed in ways that I don’t understand.  They won’t tell me what’s going on.”

There really was no good way to inform Ryouken of everything that had happened in the past year.  “It’s for your sake.  They… don’t want to hurt you with the knowledge.”  As much as Yuusaku hates the other Knights of Hanoi, he’s glad that they look out for Ryouken.

Ryouken huffs.  “You too.  You didn’t tell the future me about your living conditions.  I would’ve helped.  I should’ve helped.”

Yuusaku’s pretty sure that Ryouken had probably investigated his living conditions, and knew exactly what kind of hovel Yuusaku was currently living in.  But being enemies wasn’t something Yuusaku wanted to explain right now.  This Ryouken seemed to think that they were some sort of acquaintances in the future.  Maybe even friends.

Why was this Ryouken so accepting of him?  The real Ryouken, Revolver, had rejected him so hard when Yuusaku offered to move forwards together.  This Ryouken should be fully aware of exactly what happened ten years ago.  Why didn’t this Ryouken hate him?

“Yuusaku?”

“What?”

“Yuusaku…”  Ryouken mumbles.  “Yuusaku, Yuusaku…”

“What is it?”

He hears Ryouken chuckle softly, and it’s a beautiful sound.  “After all these years, I finally know your name.  Yuusaku…”

Ryouken’s eyes soften, and Yuusaku can see the lull of sleep start to pull him in.  His hand reaches out for Yuusaku’s, and he intertwines their fingers in-between the two of them.  “I’m happy you’re here.  I wanted to see you again for so long.  For seven years… or I guess it’s been ten years for you.” 

Yuusaku’s throat feels uncomfortably clogged up.  “I… too… I searched for you for so long.”  He whispers, his voice hoarse.  Everything is getting too personal, too emotional.  Stupid fantasies that he indulged in for ten years, all crushed so easily once he reunited and parted ways from Revolver, all resurfacing and manifesting before his eyes. 

Ryouken smiles, unguarded and honest.  “I’m glad.  I’m glad that in the future, we managed to find each other.”

Ryouken shuffles closer to Yuusaku on the bed, until their legs are intertwined and their interlocked hands are pulled into his chest.  “I don’t understand a lot about what’s going on.  But I do know three things.”  Ryouken says, his eyes beginning to droop shut from sleep.  “One.  This is currently a world three years later than the one I know.  Two.  My knights are working on a solution, so this will get resolved soon.” 

It’s warm. The blanket’s pulled almost over their heads, and Ryouken’s close.  So close.   

“Three.  You’re here.  I’m here.  We made it.  So we’ll be alright.”  Ryouken whispers, and the sound of his quiet slow breathing is all Yuusaku can hear over his own pounding heart.

Yuusaku closes his eyes and prays that Ryouken can’t see his tears in the dark.


	2. a bouquet of two-toned carnations you threw at my feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryouken is fourteen. Yuusaku is sixteen. Yuusaku tries relying a little more on the people around him. He gets mixed results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of really nice comments for chapter 1, more than I ever expected (I expected zero). Thanks so much!! Yall successfully guilt-tripped me into actually finishing chapter 2. I woke up at 4am in the middle of finals season because I finally figured out how to write the ending scene to this chapter. It was wild.
> 
> Season 2 is wrapping up and here I am, still stuck inside of it thinking about all that shit Lightning did. Like seriously, what a mess. Just like this chapter, haha. Haha.

 

_‘Think of three things.’_

_The setting sun illuminates the room.  His father’s cold body lies on the bed behind him, and Yuusaku stands before him._

_“We can walk a new path.”  Yuusaku says.  Just like he had at the top of the Tower that had just crumbled apart a few minutes ago, where he was defeated and lost everything. Ryouken had lost.  He didn’t have anything left.  And Yuusaku pleads with him to give up everything he had been working for, to leave it all behind and just take his hand.  To finally just stop._

_The scene fizzles, crackles around the edges, and there’s a sharp pain inside his head, as if something is squirming its way inside.  Intruding inside his brain._

_"Please, just stay here,” Yuusaku says, and his voice echoes right in Ryouken’s brain, too close, too loud.  “Stay here.  Stop fighting.”_

_“Stop.  Stop, Playmaker!”  Ryouken yells, gripping his head.  “You don’t understand anything!”_

_He doesn’t want to think of three things anymore._

 

* * *

 

When Yuusaku wakes up, he realizes three things.  One: it’s Monday, and he has to go to school.  Two: he has no idea what to do about Ryouken while he’s at school.  Three, Ryouken has gotten somehow gotten even younger overnight.

The pyjamas that had barely fit him last night now seemed to be swallowing him up.  He’s shorter than Yuusaku now, standing at Yuusaku’s eye-level at full height.  His face is rounder, younger, and Yuusaku feels his heart almost stop when Ryouken wakes up, opens his eyes, and looks up at him.

“Yuusaku… What’s wrong?”  Ryouken asks, his voice hoarse and higher than yesterday, and the graveness of the situation finally sinks in.

Hearing Spectre talk about it and actually seeing Ryouken get younger right in front of his eyes is completely different.  It finally sinks in that the ticking time limit is fast approaching.  None of them understand what this virus is or how to stop it.

Ryouken is disappearing right in front of his eyes.

  -藤木遊作-

Ryouken thinks he’s fourteen now.  He remembers meeting Yuusaku, seeing his apartment, and buying takeout.  He doesn’t remember any mention of how old he was supposed to be yesterday, how he got infected, and he doesn’t seem to be aware that he’s getting younger.  According to Ryouken, he’s infected by a virus making him appear fourteen, and just reunited with Yuusaku yesterday because Spectre insisted on him taking a break from work.

Ryouken doesn’t realize anything’s wrong at all.  When Yuusaku begins to mention the virus, his throat gets clogged up, and he can’t get the words out.  And if Ryouken notices, he just replies that he’s confident the Knights will fix it soon. 

It would be nice to have that much confidence that this would get solved that easily.

Yuusaku goes about toasting a few pieces of bread for them to eat for breakfast, as he texts Kusanagi about what to do while he’s at school.

“I can just stay here.”  Ryouken says.  “I won’t go anywhere.”

Those words dig into Yuusaku for some reason, and his throat is uncomfortably dry thinking about it.  He takes a long gulp from his glass of water before responding.  “No.  We still don’t understand your condition enough to leave you alone for that long.  If I leave you here alone, and something suddenly happens while no one’s around to help… we can’t risk it.”

Ryouken huffs and crosses his arms, but gets dressed to leave the house without too much fuss.  Yuusaku packs some leftovers into a container for lunch, and packs his laptop into his schoolbag.  Ryouken also grabs a laptop of his own from somewhere, Yuusaku isn’t sure.

Kusanagi agrees to watch over Ryouken while Yuusaku’s at school, so they drop by Café Nagi, parked in Den City square in the morning. Yuusaku grabs his duel disk and Ai from the back, then tells Ryouken he’ll be back after school.  Ryouken doesn’t seem happy about it, but settles himself at one of their tables and begins surfing the web on his laptop, ignoring the both of them.

“I’m sorry about this, Kusanagi-san.”  Yuusaku says.

“Don’t worry about it, Yuusaku.  I’ll keep an eye on him.”  Kusanagi reassures him, as Ai grumbles from within Yuusaku’s schoolbag.  “The internet will distract him until you get back.”

“I don’t see why you can’t just leave him in that overly big mansion of his.”  Ai says.  Yuusaku frowns, and pulls his duel disk out so that he can glare at Ai proper, who crosses his arms back.

“This is a virus none of us understand.  We have no way of knowing if anything bad is going to happen at any second.  Someone needs to watch him.”

“So you’ll ask someone to watch over _him_ while you’re at school but I just get left in the cabinet.”  Ai grumbles.  As if he thought Yuusaku wasn’t aware of the nonsense Ai was getting up to with Roboppy behind his back.  Yuusaku ignores him, stuffing his duel disk back into his school bag with an outraged cry from Ai and zipping it up so that he doesn’t have to listen. 

“Are you actually going to be taking care of him for the entire time?” Kusanagi asks. 

“I have to.  Its better Hanoi devotes all their time to creating a virus removal program than also have to split that time babysitting.”  Although it’s irritating, Spectre did have a point.

Kusanagi’s brow furrows and his hands clench on his crossed forearms.  “Yuusaku.  What he did happened ten years ago.  You don’t have any obligation to help him.”

Don’t forget what he’s done in the present, Kusanagi’s conveys silently.  It’s been ten years since the last time Ryouken had ever willingly reached out to him, completely for Yuusaku’s sake with no strings attached.  But even still…

“I want to.”  Yuusaku says quietly, and Kusanagi sighs, as if expecting that answer. 

“Hopefully this all gets resolved quickly.   Now get going.  Your school record is bad enough as it is.”

Yuusaku nods, but the unease in his heart doesn’t let up.  “Call me if anything happens.  Immediately.  Please.”

He glances back over at Ryouken one last time, and notices that Ryouken had been watching them from over the top of his laptop.  Ryouken’s eyes immediately snap back down to his laptop, as if buried in whatever he was looking at.  “See you afterschool then.”  He says, then rushes out of the plaza to get to school.

  -藤木遊作-

He’s ten minutes late to his first class of the day, and Shima stares at him as he settles into his seat.  Yuusaku texts Takeru to meet him at lunch, then leans over his desk and settles himself into his arms for a quick nap.  Classes go by, but he barely pays attention.  It’s nothing new.

He considers it for a brief moment, the idea of storming into Vrains and defeating Lightning now to get the removal program and Kusanagi Jin back.  It’s the quickest solution.  Judging by their current process on the scanning program, he could finish the entire thing by working twenty-four seven for the next three days.  Then he could use it to locate Bohman, Windy, and Lightning, and take them down.  He would not lose.  He refused to lose.  He could not lose.

The last duel with Bowman weighs in his mind.  The constant dice rolls in his favour.  The last minute draw.  A last desperate measure, but it had been enough to rip victory from his grasp.  Yuusaku had to get over that hurdle.  As well, even after he defeats Bohman, he’d have to deal with Windy’s irritating strategies and Lightning’s Judgement Arrows.  He still didn’t have any solid countermeasures thought out.

This is a delicate time.  He can’t allow any lapses in judgement.   One tiny mistake could cost the war, and this really was a war.

And Lightning had struck them where it hurt the most.

Exactly how much was possible with biological viruses?  No matter how much of a genius programmer Yuusaku was, he didn’t know a thing about the biology of a human body, and so Lightning’s virus made no sense to him.  He couldn’t begin to understand how it worked, and as a result couldn’t think of any was to get around it.  The Another virus was capable of putting a person into a coma just by infecting their brain through the network, which was the closest thing Yuusaku could think of to the current problem.  He hated to admit it, but those scientists in the Knights of Hanoi were actual doctors, and their best bet to get Ryouken back to normal. 

Ryouken, back to normal.  Strong, standing tall, confident.

Leaving him behind again.

_“I’m happy you’re here.”_

_“I won’t go anywhere.”_

Ryouken had said that, so casually, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.  To promise that he wouldn’t leave again.  Something in Yuusaku’s heart aches.

Would things have been different, if they had reunited under different circumstances?  If Yuusaku hadn’t become Playmaker, hadn’t fought back so hard to destroy everything the Knights of Hanoi created, would they have been able to reconnect on better terms?

But then the network would have been destroyed by the Tower of Hanoi.  Yuusaku didn’t regret it.  He didn’t regret becoming Playmaker, finding Ai, climbing to the top of the tower to stop Revolver’s grand suicide bomber plot.

But he does regret not being able to become friends with Ryouken.

“…chan …Yuusaku-chan!”

Yuusaku groggily opens his eyes and lifts his head off his arms, to find Ai glaring down at him with arms crossed.  “Oii, earth to Yuusaku-chan!  You still alive?  It’s lunch time!”

“It took longer than usual to wake you up.  Did you get enough sleep last night?”  Takeru settles into the seat next to him, bringing out two bento boxes from his backpack and slamming them onto the desk in front of them.  His duel disk with Flame in it is set down next to them.  The classroom is empty now except for the two of them, which is why Ai is yelling at him in the open.  Ai’s crawled out of his school bag, and perched irritatingly on Yuusaku’s shoulder.  Yuusaku flicks Ai’s head away from him, and tries to rub some of the exhaustion from his eyes to think.

“No, it’s not that…”

“Yuusaku’s a babysitter now!”  Ai sits on top of Yuusaku’s duel disk, kicking his tiny legs back and forth gleefully. 

“Huh?  Really!?”

“Um, well….”

Takeru had agreed to be civil with Revolver during the course of their alliance, but even then Takeru didn’t like Revolver.  Yuusaku doesn’t know how Takeru would take the news about Revolver’s current condition.

 “I’m… currently taking care of…” Yuusaku wonders what the best word would be to describe his and Ryouken’s current relationship is, “… an acquaintance.”

“An acquaintance?”  Flame comments.

Yuusaku nods, and his mouth goes dry as he tries to communicate the words that could describe their relationship.  “He’s… sick.  With a virus.  So I’m looking after him until his… associates find the cure.”

Takeru frowns, and something fiery like realization flashes in his eyes.  Like Soulburner’s Burning Draw, that moment of burning fury leading into an explosion.  Takeru had also been really upset with how Yuusaku didn’t tell him about Revolver that time, after Revolver and Soulburner’s duel.  It’s similar.  Yuusaku must have given away too much with his words, or his hesitation.  Takeru props his chin up on one hand as he looks at Yuusaku, his face calm but definitely suspicious.  “That’s some acquaintance, for you to be willing to take care of them.  What’s his condition like right now?”

Takeru doesn’t ask for his name.  Takeru doesn’t smile.  And with a sinking feeling in his stomach he realizes Takeru must already suspect exactly who Yuusaku is currently looking after.

“He’s… currently fourteen.”  Yuusaku says.

“Fourteen?!”

“It’s… hard to explain.  It’s the virus.”  He says, and Takeru just gapes at him back.

“No no no, just wait a second,” Takeru holds his hand up to stop Yuusaku from going on, shaking his head in disbelief.  “Fourteen?  Currently?!”

“I don’t understand it well either.”  Yuusaku sighs, mentally cursing Lightning as he pulls out the container of leftovers to start eating.

“Are you any good with kids, Takeru?”  Ai says.  “Cause Yuusaku-chan here has no idea how to deal with them!”

Yuusaku grimaces, flicking Ai away from his lunch container he had been inching towards slowly.  Just because it was true doesn’t mean Ai had to say it.

“Mmm,” Takeru crosses his arms as he thinks out loud.  “I’m pretty good with them, in my opinion.”

“That’s questionable.”  Flame says, and Takeru glares at him.

 “He’s only fourteen,” Yuusaku mutters.  “I can deal with one fourteen year old.”  Or… younger.

“So where is he right now?”  Takeru asks.

“Kusanagi-san’s watching him while I’m at school.”

“Oh, really.”  Takeru’s eyes widen slightly, and the edge of his mouth curls up in a smile.  “Then let’s go see him afterschool!”

Yuusaku blinks in surprise.  “Really?”

“Yeah, sure!  It’s pretty hard to believe if I don’t see it with my own eyes, after all.”  Takeru grins.  “Besides, I _am_ pretty good with kids, no matter what Flame says.  I can keep him busy while you and Kusanagi-san work on that program.”

Yuusaku remembers the duel between Soulburner and Revolver.  He remembers how upset Takeru had been at him afterwards.  Yuusaku hadn’t ever told Takeru about the exact connection between Ryouken and him, but maybe Kusanagi or Ai had told him about it.  Or maybe Takeru had suspected there was something going on between the two of them, the way Soulburner had frowned in confusion that time he arrived in Lightning and Windy’s stronghold only to find Revolver defending Playmaker and Ai from certain destruction.

But Takeru is his comrade in this fight now.  And it’s nice, to be able to rely on someone else his age for once.

“Thanks, Takeru.”  Yuusaku says.

  -藤木遊作-

As soon as school ends, he hurries out of the classroom faster than he ever has before.  Takeru is waiting for him at the school entrance, and they walk over to the main city plaza where Café Nagi is set up today.  Both of their duel disks are tightly shut within their schoolbags.  It wouldn’t do Ryouken any good right now to bear witness to not only one, but two Ignis.

Ryouken lifts his head from his laptop as they walk into the plaza, and smiles when he spots them.  “Yuusaku!”  He shouts, but his smile seems to freeze when he spots Takeru next to him.

Yuusaku nods at Ryouken once they arrive in front of the truck.  Takeru’s relatively civil, smiling like usual at Ryouken, who stands up once they reach his table.  Ryouken leans away from Takeru, his mouth twitching downwards.

“Who are you?”  Ryouken demands.  Takeru straightens up and extends his hand.

“Homura Takeru.  I’m Yuusaku’s friend from school.”  Yuusaku had told him to not mention anything about what happened in Link Vrains, as well as their identities.  Ryouken doesn’t seem very pleased with the answer, standing up at his full height as if to try and intimidate Takeru, but he’s a few centimetres shorter currently, and Takeru doesn’t back down.

“Kougami Ryouken.  I’m also Yuusaku’s friend.”  Ryouken announces, and it feels as if Yuusaku just took a direct attack from Borreload Dragon with the way the wind is knocked out of his lungs.

He takes at least a second to recover, and then immediately turns to see if Takeru has somehow managed to beat Ryouken into the pavement in the brief moment his brain was out of commission.  Takeru hasn’t moved, but his hands are clenched dangerously.

“Oh, it really is you.”  Yuusaku hears Takeru mutter, and Yuusaku quickly takes a step forwards between them, blocking Takeru’s direct path to Ryouken. 

Takeru looks between them, and Yuusaku watches him carefully, until he takes a deep breath and his hands unclench.  “So you’re also friends with Yuusaku, huh.”  He says, and then grins.  “Then that means that we’re also friends!”  Ryouken doesn’t seem happy about that, sitting back into his seat with a huff and turning back to his laptop.  Takeru sits down in the seat across form him and pulls out a deck from his schoolbag, and then gives his schoolbag to Yuusaku. “Hey, do you wanna duel?”

This catches Ryouken’s attention, and he looks up from his laptop to study Takeru’s expression.  “Why should I,” he says.

“Aw come on, I’ve always wanted to duel you seriously at least once.  Yuusaku says you’re real strong!”

Ryouken seems to perk up at the comment.  “Alright.  Then let’s duel.”  Ryouken says, pulling out his own deck and placing it on the table.  They shuffle, then draw their starting hands.

“You can go work, Yuusaku.  We’ll just be here.”  Takeru turns around to say to him, then focuses back on the duel.  Yuusaku nods, slightly relieved that they didn’t cause a commotion.

It seems like they’re getting along, so Yuusaku opens the back door of the truck and gets ready for his shift.  He thanks Kusanagi for looking after Ryouken, then begins to help gather ingredients and man the grill.  Ai and Flame pop out of the schoolbags and settle on the counter behind them.

“It’s a good thing Takeru still keeps his old deck around.”  Flame comments, the two AI peeking around the corner of the window to watch the duel between Takeru and Ryouken.  Takeru calls an attack, and Ryouken bites his lip in frustration as he glowers at Takeru’s monster card on the table.

Between customers and drafting up their part of the search program at the back of the truck, Yuusaku watches the duel.  Takeru is using a deck of old school Pyro monsters, but he’s using them well.  Meanwhile, Ryouken has his usual Rokket deck, but his younger self didn’t yet have the savage duel instinct that the regular Revolver had.  Takeru’s about to win when Ryouken obliterates the rest of both their lifepoints with a single trap card.

“Aww, a tie?”  Takeru sighs.  Ryouken looks equally unsatisfied with the result, already reshuffling his cards and getting ready for another duel.

“Again.”  Ryouken demands, and Takeru laughs and also gets ready.

It takes Kusanagi nudging him in the side for Yuusaku to look away from the duel, and back at the grill where two hotdogs are burning.  “S-Sorry.”  He throws the two away and immediately begins cooking two new ones, ignoring the smell of burning char.

“It’s fine, Yuusaku.”  Kusanagi says.  “But, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.  Why wouldn’t I be.”

Yuusaku finishes prepping two complete hotdogs, this time not burnt, and holds them out to Kusanagi only to find the man looking at him with concern.  “You’re currently living with the enemy.”  Kusanagi says.

“Enemy of our enemy.  And he’s harmless right now.”

“That’s the problem.  Yuusaku, you said it yourself that even the Knights of Hanoi don’t know what’s going on.  Just, be careful.  Don’t forget he’s Revolver.  What they did.”

Yuusaku stares down at the barren floors of the food truck interior.  “I won’t.” 

Yuusaku isn’t capable of forgetting.  None of them could forget for even a day.  But Kusanagi isn’t capable of understanding exactly what kind of bond ties Yuusaku and Ryouken together either.

“What did he do all day?”  Yuusaku asks.

“Just stayed at his computer, typing.”  Kusanagi says.  “I glanced over his shoulder at one point while giving him lunch to see what he was doing.  I think he was programming the back infrastructure of the Tower of Hanoi.”

The Tower of Hanoi.  A program that took five whole years to complete and execute, to destroy the entire network just to get rid of the Ignis.  A terrifying act of cyberterrorism, that Ryouken had been participating in for years.

“Who would’ve thought Revolver would have been such a cute kid?”  Kusanagi says, glancing at the two dueling with a bitter smile.  “Did you ever think you’d see something like this?”

Ryouken link summons Borreload Dragon with a grin that lights up his face.  He focuses on Takeru with a fierce smile, but it’s nothing like the looks he got when they duelled as Playmaker and Revolver.  It doesn’t have the underlying pain weighing Ryouken down, making every word he spits out soaked in bitter frustration.  He looks like a kid enjoying the duel for what it truly is: a game.

“No.”  Yuusaku says.  “Not at all.” 

He had given up hope of that a long time ago.

  -藤木遊作-

About an hour in, the two take a break from dueling, and Yuusaku brings over a soda and hotdog for each of them.  “What’s the score?”  He asks.

“One win and two draws.”  Takeru says with a grin.  Ryouken grumbles as he bites into his own hotdog.

“I watched a bit.  You duelled well.”  Yuusaku says to Ryouken, who flushes red and refuses to look at him.

“I’ll win next time.”  He mutters, sipping his soda loudly.

“Oh yeah, Yuusaku!  I wanted to talk to you about a homework thing.”  Takeru stands up and grabs Yuusaku’s wrist.  “It’ll just be a few minutes, then we can duel again!”  He says to Ryouken before pulling Yuusaku away, to the inside of Kusanagi’s truck out of sight.

“So this virus, is affecting him physically _and_ mentally.  I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes.”  Takeru says after Yuusaku explains to him how the virus apparently works, to the best of Yuusaku’s own understanding of it.  “What about a removal program?”

“The Hanoi Knights are working on it.”  Yuusaku says.  “There isn’t much me or Kusanagi-san can do about biological viruses, so we’re just waiting for them to finish it.  Until then, I’m watching over him.”

 “We have to be careful.  If Lightning was able to steal Kusanagi-san’s little brother’s consciousness, and infect Revolver with a virus, we have no idea what he’s capable of doing next.”  Flame says.

Revolver had given him that protection program to protect him from if Lightning tried a surprise attack on him.  Had Revolver forgotten to save a version of it for himself?  Or was the program not strong enough to stand up to whatever Lightning had planned?  Either way, they had no idea what Lightning was planning next.

 “I see…” 

“This is a problem.  No matter how skewed the motives and views of the Knights of Hanoi are, they are one of our strongest allies in this war against Lightning.”  Flame says.  “To directly take out their leader like this, that is a bold move on Lightning’s part.”

“To think Lightning would go this far…”  Ai says quietly. 

Yuusaku pats Ai’s head with one finger gently, as comforting as he can get, then turns back to Takeru.  “Thank you, for not picking a fight with him.”  He says.

Takeru grins.  “We’re allies in this fight, after all.  If you need anything just call, okay?  Someone to keep him busy, or help in taking care of him.  I’m not Kusanagi-san, but I can still help out.”

“Is that okay?”

“It’s fine, you can trust me!”  Takeru thumps his chest.  “Cause I’m your friend!”

And something warm fills his chest, and it makes Yuusaku smile, just a little.

  -藤木遊作-

After nine duels, four ties, three losses, and two victories for Ryouken, Yuusaku’s shift is finally over.  Ai mopes around at being left with Kusanagi again, but tells him not to do anything stupid.  He furrows his brow at being told this by Ai of all people, or programs, but nods and leaves through the back door of the truck to the dueling two’s table.

“Yuusaku, you wanna duel too?”  Takeru says, and Ryouken’s head snaps up to look at Yuusaku with that comment, a glint of excitement in his eyes as they bore into Yuusaku’s.  The Cyberse deck tucked away in his schoolbag feels extra heavy.

“No, I…” Yuusaku says, and his hand holding his schoolbag begins to shake, “don’t… duel... anymore.”

He can’t remember the last time he duelled just for the fun of it.

Takeru and Ryouken both seem to draw their respective conclusions from that, and Ryouken quickly gathers up his deck and puts it away in his pocket.  “Are we going home?”

Yuusaku nods, and Ryouken hurries over to his side.

“Goodnight, Yuusaku, Ryouken-kun.  Get back safely.”  Kusanagi calls to them.

“Come again.  I’ll duel you again anytime!”  Takeru waves at them as they walk away.

They take the evening skytrain back, easily getting seats since it’s already after rush hour.  Ryouken seems deep in thought about something, his eyes unfocused as they gazed out the skytrain window.  According to Kusanagi, he had spent the majority of the day just on his laptop, and refused to tell him what he was doing.  Yuusaku prays that he didn’t look up any news sites from a few months ago, in between programming that cursed Tower.

“Is Takeru your boyfriend?”  Ryouken turns to him and asks, breaking the silence.

Yuusaku flinches back in surprise.  That wasn’t what he had thought was on Ryouken’s mind.  He averts his eyes, focusing on his fidgeting fingers over his schoolbag, feeling his cheeks heat up no matter how much he wills it away.

He knows what a boyfriend is.  He’s not _that_ socially inept.  Sometimes he overhears girls in class chatting about that sort of stuff, and Ai’s soap operas often have overly dramatic descriptions of what it’s like to be dating.  Takeru is someone who understands, a comrade in this war against Lightning, and comfortable to be around.  But Yuusaku thinks that just constitutes as a friend.  Besides, Takeru is much more talkative than he is, almost as talkative as Ai.  If Takeru was his boyfriend, Yuusaku’s pretty sure Takeru would be mentioning it a lot more. 

“No, I don’t think so.”  Yuusaku says.

“I see,” Ryouken says, looking back out the window.  But the edge of his mouth twitches upwards in a smile, and he looks oddly pleased about it.  “I guess he’s not bad of a duelist.”

“Takeru said the record was three wins to two for him though.” 

Ryouken’s shoulders hunch up as he crosses his arms and scowls.  “Not for long.”  He mutters.  There is that pettiness that Yuusaku’s used to still present, a shadow of the plotting going on in within his mind on how to make sure that he would win next time.  It reminds Yuusaku that Ryouken had been hunting for the Ignis for five whole years, hunting for Ai ever since he had been thirteen.

Ryouken would be thirteen tomorrow by this rate. 

Another frown passes Ryouken’s face.  “Although, Homura Takeru seems… familiar.”  He says.

It would be six years for the current Ryouken since the incident.  Plus the adult Ryouken had come by Café Nagi a few times while Yuusaku had been there and never said anything.  It made sense that he didn’t recognize Takeru after all these years.

“Well, Takeru was also there.”  Yuusaku says, choosing his words carefully to be as vague as possible.  They never knew for sure who was listening.  “As one of the children taken there.”

Ryouken’s shoulders go rigid, and Yuusaku immediately regrets telling him.  Maybe it would have been better if Ryouken thought that Takeru was just a classmate.

“Oh.”  He mumbles quietly.  “I see…”

He doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the way back.

  -藤木遊作-

Yuusaku is reading through part of a search program that Ghost Girl had sent him through Kusanagi when his phone rings.  There’s no caller id, but Yuusaku has the unpleasant feeling of knowing exactly who it is anyways.  He picks up with a huff.  “What.”

“I would like a report on Ryouken-sama’s condition.”  Spectre says on the other end, and even through the phone his voice is unpleasant to listen to.

 “He’s fourteen now.”  Yuusaku says.  “Physically fine.  Lost a few duels today, got upset.” 

“He was quite moody at that age.”

 Yuusaku’s stomach does an uncomfortable flip when he remembers that Spectre had also grown up in this house, with Ryouken.  That Spectre had been with Ryouken, known about him for so much longer than Yuusaku had.  Spectre had known Ryouken when Ryouken had actually been fourteen.  Spectre would be able to handle a fourteen year old Ryouken better than Yuusaku could.

Then why had Spectre pushed this responsibility onto Yuusaku?

“It seems that the de-aging is proceeding at a linear rate.”  Spectre continues.  “Unfortunately, the removal program is still in the works.  The Ignis encryption on the virus is extremely advanced, so it will take more time before it can be completed.”

Ryouken walks into the living room.  He had been eating leftovers from yesterday, but Yuusaku had skipped out on dinner and gone straight to reviewing the scanning program.

“Who are you talking to?” 

“Spectre.”

“Let me talk to him.”  Ryouken says, and Yuusaku passes him his phone.  He walks away into the next room, and Yuusaku takes that as him not wanting to be overheard.  Yuusaku goes back to reading over the search program.  It seemed to do what it was supposed to, reliably.  There was a certain grace and experience to Ghost Girl’s programs that he didn’t have.  But even still, it needed to be pooled together with all their combined efforts into the tower before any results would come from it.  Yuusaku types up some comments on it, then sends it back to Kusanagi with his plan of possible next steps.  He sighs, already tired from work today, and gets up to go grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

Ryouken then marches back into the room, his footsteps heavier than usual. 

“Damn Spectre.  He locked my duel disk.”  Ryouken snaps.  “I need to log into Link Vrains and report to my father about what’s happened.  I need updates on the current progress of the hunt.”

Something inside Yuusaku runs cold, stabs deeply into his chest, and Yuusaku unwillingly remembers that this is perfectly normal for Ryouken, to prepare for acts of cyberterrorism and report about them to his father.  That Ryouken had spent the entire day prepping the Tower of Hanoi for his father, just like he would have four years ago, while Yuusaku suffered on alone.

“Oh yeah,” Ryouken continues, somewhat brightening, but it hardly matters in the moment when there’s a far off ringing noise somewhere in Yuusaku’s head, threatening to grow louder, “I can introduce you to my father!”  Then he falters.  “Ah, um, I’m sure he’ll be, um, he’ll be pleased to meet you.”

The unsaid ‘again’ echoes in Yuusaku’s brain.  Yeah right.  As if.  If Yuusaku could breathe he might almost laugh at the idea.  Heat blooms from the wound in his chest, a cold fire burning, rumbling, inside of his stomach.  Fury runs across his skin, the same that had driven him for so many months, defeating his enemies over and over and over without end.  The same heat that had been directing him to fight, to focus solely on the enemy in front of him and to not stop until they had lost, he had win, and he had crawled even the slightest bit to his end goals.  But the one in front of him is the one he had been searching for, the light at the end of his horrible quest, the only thing that had supported him for so long, and no matter how much the heat churns and burns inside him Yuusaku is incapable of directing his anger towards Ryouken.  So it clings to his skin, almost like steam refusing to dissipate.

Ryouken tosses him his phone, but he can’t move his body, and his phone clatters to the ground much too loudly.  Ryouken finally looks at him straight on, and his eyes widen.

“Yuusaku?”  Ryouken starts.  “Is─”

“As if.”  Yuusaku spits out, the words sharp and unforgiving, now that he’s finally regaining control of his throat at least.  His hands clench, and the pain of his fingernails digging into his palm keeps the burning in his chest in check for now. 

If Kougami Kiyoshi wants to meet him again he’ll have to do it in hell.  If Kougami Kiyoshi isn’t currently burning in hell then Yuusaku will drag him down under himself, where Yuusaku will gladly spend the rest of eternity as long as he knows that that man is also burning right next to him.

“Yuusaku, um…”  Ryouken starts, slightly fidgeting, and for a second Yuusaku almost misses Revolver’s irritating confidence.  At least Revolver knew.   At least Revolver didn’t act like everything was alright between them.  No matter how much Revolver’s words hurt, at least they weren’t built on fake fantasies and dreams.  “You… you know about—”

“I know.”  Yuusaku says.  His chest’s heaving.  He can’t seem to get enough air.  Everything begins to pour out, like a dam that had burst.  “I know.  I know about the Hanoi Project.  I know about the Ignis.  I know what the Knights of Hanoi did.  I know about the plans for the Tower of Hanoi.”  The world’s starting to spin.  His heartbeat’s echoing in his ears.  “I know what your father did.  To us.  To me.”

“How do you know that much?  Did Spectre tell you—”

“You told me!”

It hurts.  It hurts more than Yuusaku had ever thought, to have Ryouken smile at him as if nothing was wrong, as if they could just pick up from that convenient corner where they had first bumped into each other.  As if their lives were actually like this, friends despite everything that’s happened.  It’s so much of what Yuusaku wanted, so much that he had always dreamed of, and it makes him want to throw up the more he accidentally enjoys any of it.  It’s not fair.

Yuusaku isn’t capable of turning a blind eye, not when that sight is burnt into his eyes, that white room swallowing him whole every night.  He doesn’t know what scenario this Ryouken has conjured up about the adult him and Yuusaku’s relationship, but it’s getting out of hand.  He isn’t capable of maintaining the delicate balance of this situation built on a fragile card tower of fantasies and misunderstandings.

Yuusaku really wasn’t suited for happy endings after all.

“I… told you?  But… You do deserve to know, um, but…”  Ryouken’s eyes lose their sharp edge, and he takes a slow step forwards, but freezes when he really looks Yuusaku in the eyes, and, as if ashamed, averts his own and stops.  And Yuusaku realizes that Ryouken really was a coward about all this, that Revolver had just gotten good at hiding it.

"I don't get it.  Why… why do you know about it?  Why would I tell you about it?  You were… you were supposed to…”  Some sort of realization finally settles into Ryouken visibly, his shoulders slumping and his eyes widening and his mouth slack, fumbling with the next words.  “Yuusaku, are we… are we friends?  A-are you… friends with the older me?”

Yuusaku turns away, his nails digging into his palm so hard he can feel skin breaking under them and the faint trail of blood dripping onto the pristine floors.  “I don’t know!”  He spits out, the meaning clinging to his chest like black gunk, and saying it out loud hurts more than he ever thought it would.  “I don’t know.  You keep… you won’t…”

_You won’t talk to me.  You won’t listen to me._

“You keep running away.  Running somewhere far away, to fulfill your ‘ _mission_ ’.”

_Away from me._

Ryouken grits his teeth, wheeling forwards to face him.  “The Ignis need to be stopped, Yuusaku!  They’ll destroy humanity!”

“You attacked them first, Ryouken!”  The words fly out of his mouth before he can stop them, and now that they’re in the air Yuusaku can’t help but continue.  “Following some ridiculous simulation, just because that man said that it would happen.  So what?!  That’s worth risking the lives of others?  Hundreds?  Thousands?  The Ignis don’t─, you didn’t─”

Ai watches ridiculous love drama soap operas and insists on explaining the plots in explicit details to Yuusaku.  Ai stood up to Lightning and Windy for him.  Ai had just wanted to go home for so long, and when he finally got home, it had been destroyed by one of his own kind.  Ai had been stuck by his side for months, to the point where Yuusaku could understand Ai a little.  And Yuusaku is sure that Ai is just as alive as any of them, maybe even more.

“There’s another path.  There always was another path.”  The burning fury in his chest dissipates like steam, leaving Yuusaku just drained and tired.  There had been another path, for both of them.  And yet here they were.  Yuusaku didn’t regret his own path.  Did Ryouken, even a little?  “I asked you, the eighteen-year-old you, to stop.  To walk another path, with me.  Another path exists, I’m sure of it, and we could find it together.  But you…”

At the end of his revenge, with the sun setting and the corpse of the man who had tortured Yuusaku behind him, after Yuusaku had finally found the strength to say as best he could everything that had weighed on him, dragged him down, for years upon years, after finding hope for the first time, it all crashed down so quickly.

 _“How stupid.”_   Ryouken had said, and left.

Yuusaku was tired of it. 

“Yuusaku, I—”

“It’s fine.  Just stop.”

“But I—”

“Just, stop.  Okay?”  Yuusaku lets out a long shuddering sigh, his voice still shaking.  “I don’t need to be rejected twice to get the idea.”

Yuusaku may be less sociable than an AI program, but even he knows basic social cues.  Ryouken left after the Tower fell.  Yuusaku had tried to tell Ryouken all of his feelings in the only way he could, and Ryouken responded by leaving him behind.  It was a clear rejection.  Ryouken would follow his father’s mission, chasing after the idea of humanity’s saviours or destroyers or destiny.  Ryouken didn’t want a new path for the two of them.

“W-What?”  Ryouken says, looking almost heartbroken.  “You… I…”

“Let’s just go to sleep.”  Yuusaku says.  His footsteps echo through the hollow living room, and the thought that he’s the one who gets to walk away first this time doesn’t comfort him at all.

  -藤木遊作-

They get ready for bed in painful silence.  Ryouken refuses to make eye contact with him.  Yuusaku’s fine with that.  His hands are still shaking.  He lies in the bed in Ryouken’s room, the covers pulled over his head, turned away from the door.  Ryouken eventually turns off the lights and crawls into the bed next to him, and from the sounds of Ryouken’s breathing Yuusaku can tell that he also has his back turned to him.

 They’re going to have to continue like this until the virus is removed. 

 The bed is soft and warm, and Yuusaku feels sleep pull him in almost too easily.  It would be so easy, to just rest, let it all go, and stop.  Everything was always just so complicated.

“You said it so easily.”  Yuusaku breaks the silence first and mutters.  “This afternoon.  You said I was your friend.”

 He gets no response, and his mouth twitches into a frown at that fact.  He can tell that Ryouken’s still not asleep, making sure not to move a muscle, as if trying to make it so that he wasn’t even there, so that the chasm would widen.

“I wanted to be your friend.”  Ryouken finally says.  “All those years ago, I wanted to be your friend.”

Yuusaku hadn’t expected anything in the first place, and his hands curl up next to his head.  It hurts, and Yuusaku can’t respond, so Ryouken continues.  “So you hate me for what happened.  That’s… fair.  But… I had always hoped that just maybe…” 

He trails off, his voice soft with exhaustion, and when he doesn’t continue Yuusaku does.

“I don’t hate you,” Yuusaku says.  He was the one person Yuusaku could never hate.  “I guess… I’m just, disappointed.  That it turned out like this.”

“You were supposed to get adopted by a nice family, after you got rescued.  And you would most likely have trouble readjusting to society, but after many careful years of help from those around you, you would be able to move on with your life.  You’d be able to attend middle school, and high school.  You were frail, so you probably wouldn’t do well at sports.  But you were always so smart, so clever, so ingenious in the way you fought, you’d do great at academics so long as you tried.  You’d be popular too, since your face is so pretty.  The incident would probably haunt you for the rest of your life, but you’d be able to move on, and you’d be happy.  And then… maybe…” Ryouken’s voice gets dangerously quiet, “we could meet again…”

Ryouken also had wishful fantasies of what could have been.  It’s different from anything Yuusaku had ever dreamt of, but at the same time so normal Yuusaku finds it shocking he had never thought of it himself.  But maybe exactly that was proof of how badly that incident had scarred him.  That he couldn’t even dream of normal things for himself anymore.

“You must also be disappointed then.”  Yuusaku whispers.

That Yuusaku turned out like this.

There’s the sound of shuffling, the faint rippling across the mattress as Yuusaku can feel Ryouken shifting positions, until he’s facing Yuusaku’s back, and Yuusaku can feel Ryouken’s gaze on the back of his head.  His heart pounds in his ears, and he’s maybe just the slightest bit afraid of what Ryouken answer.  And maybe Ryouken does say something, but by that point it’s so quiet Yuusaku can’t hear it, doesn’t want to hear it.

He doesn’t relax until he hears Ryouken’s breathing even out, until he’s asleep and snoring lightly.  And Yuusaku’s focus finally begins to slip, his head sinking further into the pillow and his body completely giving way to the enveloping warmth of the blankets.

Ryouken is here.  He’s actually here.

If Yuusaku calls his name, he’ll respond.

If Yuusaku reaches out a hand, he’ll grasp it in his own.

“I wanted to be your friend too.”  Yuusaku whispers, then closes his eyes and finally lets sleep take him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See yall whenever the next blue moon happens, cause it takes a miracle for me to write apparently. Ahaha. Sorry about this chapter. The next one won't be much better.

**Author's Note:**

> Bother me on tumblr if u want. Remind me to give this story a happy ending. Yuusaku deserves a happy ending.


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